We all want to see ourselves as successful, valuable individuals, and that’s why we create such stories about ourselves. When you perceive a difference between how things are and how you would like them to be, a need to find an explanation for why there is a difference might appear.
The basic idea is that when one becomes aware of the inconsistency between what you say and what you do, that is a cognitive dissonance - a difference between how it is and how it should be. In other words, there is a big difference in what you tell others, and the situation as it is. The story is no longer the reality. This causes mental pain. This often reduces the importance of the current situation in order to stick to the old picture of yourself.
In order to make a change, you have to “look truth in the eye" when it comes to one's situation. This would mean that you have to make a decision regarding a change in the situation.
Cognitive dissonance is something we have all experienced at some point.
When was the last time you experienced the cognitive dissonance? (So when you experienced a tough difference between how it is and how it should be.)
See if you can discuss this with anyone today.
Another alternative: write down in two columns: How should my life be right now in the areas of work, close relationships, leisure and health? How is it in reality?
When you see the difference between the way it should be and how it is in reality, what are your feelings and thoughts?
What would be the very first step to reduce the difference in this area that is important for you to change?
You can always do this exercise with another person when you want to bring dissonance, but start with yourself first.