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Do you often become upset? Very upset? What or who infuriates you? Let me guess: other people. Why? Under what circumstances?  

The foundations of anger

Anger is based on the following three sentences:

a) Why don’t others behave the way they should?

This type of anger is directed towards others, and “should” can be interpreted as “the way they are supposed to” or “the way I would like them to.”

"It’s not what you say or do what makes me feel bad, but rather what I do with what you say or do." -M. George

b) Why don’t I do what I should do, or why don’t I get the results I ought to?

This kind of anger is directed inwards, towards the self. “Should” refers to what my beliefs or others want me to … want.

c) Why isn’t the world the way it should be.

Anger in this case is generic, directed towards everyone who is “responsible,” known or unknown. “The way it should be”, in this case, is quite abstract. People can set their standards as high as they like. The only problem is that the higher our standards are, the easier it is to feel injustice.

Anger is a thought you carry along with you.


Exercise 

Lucky you! Today you get two tasks.  

“When someone throws the ball to you, you don’t have to catch it”, suggests Anthony Robbins. 

a) Mull over this idea. Check its validity next time someone throws a bitter comment. Remove judgment and you remove emotions. Remember, it is your thoughts that offend you. 

b) Ask for a time out. Don takes a deep breath and counts to 10 (thousand). Suggest a cease-fire for an hour and continue the argument exactly from where you left it.


Dr Ro, Idiots are Invincible