Issue 5 of Mingle School for Introverts and Shy People
What do you think is the hardest part about mingling? A common thought (that I myself suffer from) is that I will not know what to talk about, that I will just stand there in silence and be awkward. And since most people find it difficult to approach strangers, they will most likely mingle with people they already know. So another difficult task is to dare to leave the group that makes you feel safe and head out into the unknown. But how that is for you, only you will know.
What to do
Take a couple of minutes and write down your worst fears or difficult experiences when mingling. If you are taking this course together with someone, you can use a few minutes during the break to discuss and share your difficulties with each other.
I now want you to do the opposite: write down any positive consequences that will follow when having the guts to talk to someone at an event. It doesn’t have to be anything grand, it can be as simple as you getting a chance to mingle, you exchanging a few words with an interesting person, or that you get to know a potential friend/customer/business partner or something else. So spend a few minutes writing down your hopes.
Tomorrow we will continue working on your lists.
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Mingle School for Introverts and Shy People
Walk around and have relaxed conversations with people you don't know.
Does the mere thought give you chills?
You are not alone. It may sound simple to some, but for many of us it makes our heart palpitate, we sweat, get tongue-tied and stutter when we are expected to speak spontaneously in different situations. Thoughts such as, “what should I talk about?”, “what if I’m all alone?”, “what if no one thinks I'm interesting?”, “I'll only say stupid things,” may be running through your head and put an immediate end to any attempts to approach others. But it doesn't have to be this way.
In this course, we will go over a few psychological theories that affect us when we mingle, and how we can get around unnecessary mind traps and fears that are easy to get stuck in. I will also give you exercises that will help you get an idea of how you can actually train yourself how to mingle.
So why should you get better at mingling? For one thing, it often becomes a lot more fun to go to parties and other private functions where you don’t know that many people. But it’s also extremely useful when you run a business when you want to create better relationships between business and universities, or perhaps when you want to present some exciting research results. When you mingle, you are building networks.
This course is created by trained psychologist, Jenny Rickardson. She works in the department of behavioral medicine and pain treatment at Karolinska University Hospital, in addition to being a lecturer on ACT and teaching psychology at Psykologifabriken.
The course is based on learning psychology and CBT, along with elements of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).Subscribe now