Issue 11 of Mingle School for Introverts and Shy People
Everything we have talked about so far – to actively think about the positive consequences of mingling instead of just focusing on what can go wrong, to be aware of and find common grounds, and to be prepared with an opening line - all these are factors that help the following psychological mechanism along the way: the self-fulfilling prophecy.
This means in short that people who think that other people will like them, have a greater chance of being liked. And people who think that other people won’t like them, will be less well-liked by others.
This whole thing with the prophecy may sound like a scam and made up (and it’s not that much of a prophecy, but this is what it’s usually called). Actually, it is not any weirder then that studies show that those who think they will get a positive response in a social situation increasingly behave in a way that generates appreciation and likability. They appear less nervous and dare to be warmer and more open to others. So again: it is about something they do. And you might remember from one of the earlier segments that it is perfectly fine to do something that goes against what we are experiencing on the inside. We will talk more about that tomorrow.
Tired of waiting for the next lesson?
Read next lesson straight away by upgrading to premium today.Upgrade to premium Sign in
Mingle School for Introverts and Shy People
Walk around and have relaxed conversations with people you don't know.
Does the mere thought give you chills?
You are not alone. It may sound simple to some, but for many of us it makes our heart palpitate, we sweat, get tongue-tied and stutter when we are expected to speak spontaneously in different situations. Thoughts such as, “what should I talk about?”, “what if I’m all alone?”, “what if no one thinks I'm interesting?”, “I'll only say stupid things,” may be running through your head and put an immediate end to any attempts to approach others. But it doesn't have to be this way.
In this course, we will go over a few psychological theories that affect us when we mingle, and how we can get around unnecessary mind traps and fears that are easy to get stuck in. I will also give you exercises that will help you get an idea of how you can actually train yourself how to mingle.
So why should you get better at mingling? For one thing, it often becomes a lot more fun to go to parties and other private functions where you don’t know that many people. But it’s also extremely useful when you run a business when you want to create better relationships between business and universities, or perhaps when you want to present some exciting research results. When you mingle, you are building networks.
This course is created by trained psychologist, Jenny Rickardson. She works in the department of behavioral medicine and pain treatment at Karolinska University Hospital, in addition to being a lecturer on ACT and teaching psychology at Psykologifabriken.
The course is based on learning psychology and CBT, along with elements of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).Subscribe now