Issue 11 of Mingle School for Introverts and Shy People
Everything we have talked about so far – to actively think about the positive consequences of mingling instead of just focusing on what can go wrong, to be aware of and find common grounds, and to be prepared with an opening line - all these are factors that help the following psychological mechanism along the way: the self-fulfilling prophecy.
This means in short that people who think that other people will like them, have a greater chance of being liked. And people who think that other people won’t like them, will be less well-liked by others.
This whole thing with the prophecy may sound like a scam and made up (and it’s not that much of a prophecy, but this is what it’s usually called). Actually, it is not any weirder then that studies show that those who think they will get a positive response in a social situation increasingly behave in a way that generates appreciation and likability. They appear less nervous and dare to be warmer and more open to others. So again: it is about something they do. And you might remember from one of the earlier segments that it is perfectly fine to do something that goes against what we are experiencing on the inside. We will talk more about that tomorrow.